First: I do not think this is really an issue with a lack of understanding of the square root function. When someone writes $\sqrt9 = \sqrt3$ it means they are not thinking about what the equals sign even means.
I have had a small amount of success with the following method, which relies on the students "believing in their calculator" as a source of truth.
Suppose a student has the following work, with the square root error that you outlined:
$\frac{-2 + \sqrt{20}}{2} = \frac{-2 + \sqrt4 \sqrt 5}{2} = \frac{-2 + 4 \sqrt 5}{2} = -1 + 2\sqrt5$.
They look up the answer and find that the correct answer is $-1 + \sqrt5$, and ask for assistance.
You can tell them to check each step with their calculator. They know they were supposed to get $-1 + \sqrt5$ as the answer, and their calculator happily translates that correct answer into 1.236.
When they type the first fraction into their calculator, it also comes out 1.236. This means they were correct at that step.
When they plug the second fraction into their calculator, it also comes out 1.236. This means they were correct at that step too.
But when they plug the third fraction into their calculator, it comes out 3.472. This shows that the simplification error was made between the second and third steps.
What is a student supposed to take away from this?
I'd argue that when using this method, you are teaching the student to begin to grasp that each mathematical expression they write is actually a value, and that as they simplify, they should be doing things that do not change that value.
Expert-level mastery of this concept would allow them to look at the 4 and the $\sqrt4$ next to each other and realize "wait... $4$ and $\sqrt4$ are different numbers -- but first students need the insight that $4$ and $\sqrt4$ are numbers that could be different at all!