First of all, I should point out that the standard definition of a normal subgroup is
A subgroup $N \subset G$ is normal iff $g n g^{-1} \in N$ for all $n\in N$ and $g\in G$.
When I say "the" standard definition, I mean that this is how working group theorists think of normal subgroups, and this is one of two basic ways to prove that a subgroup is normal. (Note that this is a bit easier to use than the statement $N = gNg^{-1}$, since we don't have to prove containment in both directions.)
Of course, there is also the statement
A subgroup is normal iff it is the kernel of some homomorphism.
This is widely regarded as a theorem, as opposed to a definition, although it is certainly both the motivation for the definition of normal subgroups and the explanation for their importance.
The statement
A subgroup $N\subset G$ is normal iff $gN = Ng$ for all $g\in G$
appears as a definition in some books (Gallian being the chief culprit I am aware of), but for the life of me I can't figure out why. This is not a very good definition for proving things, nor for developing intuition about normal subgroups, nor for explaining their importance, nor is it very standard, and frankly it's not even one of the most important properties of normal subgroups.
When I teach this subject in abstract algebra, I start by introducing quotient groups, which I describe as a smaller group obtained from a partitioning a larger group into subsets. Next, I observe that you need to be careful about which subsets you choose if you want to get a well-defined group operation. This motivates the definition of a congruence relation, and I show that the equivalence classes for a congruence relation form a group. This mirrors the approach that is usually taken for defining modular arithmetic, and so immediately connects the two in the students' minds. It also has the advantage that the definition seems fairly natural.
I then go on to observe that the congruence class of the identity must be a subgroup that is closed under conjugation, which prompts the definition of a normal subgroup. I also point out to the students that congruence relations aren't used very often in group theory, since all you really need to know for making a quotient is the normal subgroup (although group theorists often use the notation $gN = hN$ when they want to say that $g$ and $h$ are congruent). I do homomorphisms a bit later on.
If I were prohibited from using this approach, I think I would start by introducing homomorphisms, and then observe that the kernel of a homomorphism is a subgroup that is closed under conjugation, prompting the definition of a normal subgroup. I would not define a normal subgroup as the kernel of a homomorphism, since that's really more of a theorem than a definition, but I would use homomorphisms to motivate the definition.