There are two young lovers in one of my crowded calculus classes. Sometimes when I am explaining an idea I see they are kissing each other and some of the other students are watching them and pay no attention to what I am explaining. I love lovers but I think their behavior is interrupting my teaching and there are better places for showing love! I really don't know what I should do in this case because the situation is too strange and unusual and the usual managing approaches are not useful.
I cannot say "Quiet, please!" because they don't produce any noise.
I cannot say "Excuse me, please don't kiss each other!" because it is too ridiculous!
Maybe I can talk to them privately but I think it is a bit impolite because it is somehow related to their personal relations but I am thinking about this as a final solution.
Another possible solution which I have in mind is finding an appropriate related joke for telling in these situations to back the attention of the students to teaching subject and implicitly tell the lovers that they are interrupting my teaching. Do you have any suggestion for such a joke?
I fear to say "Please leave the classroom!" because few years ago in a same situation one of my colleges did this and the girl cried and said "you are a monster!" The story spread all over the university in the light speed and she became a hero! After that almost all students call that poor college "Prof. Monster" and all of his attempts for removing the tragedy from the minds were unsuccessful. Now some of the students tell this legend for the younger ones and say that they are proud of being there when "queen" named him "monster"!
Question. What is the appropriate approach for solving such a problem? Can you suggest any new solution? Were you in a similar situation? If yes, what did you do?